Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
