Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
