He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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