whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
