Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
