I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
