I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
