My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My vagina is very pro this idea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
