Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
MIDGETS
????
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
