Ambien. No doubt about it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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