so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
