No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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