do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize
