ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
