69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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