Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
