absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
