dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
