yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
