Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
