I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Couch. On fire.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
