ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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