Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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