THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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