my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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