My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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