I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
