My nipple is on Facebook.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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