honey bunches of taint.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
