Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
