You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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