My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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