ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize