It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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