that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
