It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
