It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
