Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
