i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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