so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
