Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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