she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
