either way he was missing a nipple.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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