What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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