I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
