You work out of a Hotel?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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