I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
