I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
