I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
