Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
